Complex Hearts
by NaraLikesWords
Summary: I was so mean to a girl who probably loved me unconditionally... "I don't hate you," Shikamaru muttered. "Liar," Saiki repeated. "Liar, liar, liar." One-Shot. Story idea from the song 'Complex Hearts' by NeverShoutNever.


"_You'll catch a cold."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I said, you'll catch a cold. Here."_

"_Thanks... Why do you even care?"_

"_B-Because... Shut up and scoot over."_

"_...You're new here, aren't you?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What's your name?"_

"_...Saiki."_

"_Shikamaru. Nice to meet you."_

"_N-Nice to meet you too!"_

**_-Shikamaru-_**

Somehow, I thought back to that moment, that moment that brought Saiki and I together as friends. I didn't know how it came to mind as I tossed a few shirts into a duffel bag. I was packing for a trip that was nearing. The trip was to a snowy mountain with a resort at the very top. It'd be a long trip, but it was worth it, after all the missions we did that month. The demand for missions finally dropped down drastically, giving us enough time for this trip.  
>The ones who organized this trip was Asuma, Guy, Kakashi, Kurenai, and Celty, the newest squad leader from the fire village. Celty was Saiki's squad leader. Squad 26. The whole squad had moved in just recently, but they took on more missions in a week than we could in a month.<p>

When they moved in, the two boys in the team made friends quickly. It was Saiki who took it harder to move in. On the first day she moved in, I saw her look hesitantly at Choji and I before walking off into the forest. The whole week, besides going on missions, she stayed in her house. One day, I followed her to her house, which was conveniently right in front of a big tree I liked to lay under. I made my way over to the tree and lied down, waiting for her to notice me. Snow was beginning to fall, and that's when she peered outside. She looked up at the sky, watching the snowflakes drop down, until her eyes met mine. She stared at me for a while, frowning, until finally, she retreated. I thought she was going to lock herself in her room, but instead, the front door swung open, and out she came with a huge blanket. She trudged towards me, eyes determinedly set on me. She stepped next to me and parted her lips.

"You'll catch a cold," she said, frowning.

"Huh?"

"I said, you'll catch a cold. Here." She outstretched the blanket and rested it over me. I instantly became warmer under it. She kept staring at me, brown eyes still determined, but somehow nervous. She flipped her choppy dark hair behind her shoulders out of habit and bit her lip. She looked about ready to retreat.

"Thanks... Why do you even care?" I asked her, looking up at her with tired eyes. Her cheeks flushed, I guessed from the cold.

"B-Because," she began nervously. She couldn't think of what to say and grumbled, "Shut up and scoot over." I did as told, giving her a space next to me. She wrapped her arms around the blanket and peered up at the falling snowflakes.

"You're new here, aren't you?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"What's your name?" She stayed silent, as if she couldn't believe what I was asking her. Someone was finally asking for her name. Someone was finally going to make a move and become her friend.

"Saiki," she finally replied, her voice soft.

"Shikamaru. Nice to meet you." Saiki's eyes lit up as she smiled, glad to have finally made a new friend in this unfamiliar village.

"N-Nice to meet you too!" she shouted happily, causing me to smirk at her enthusiasm and look back at the snowflakes.

_**-...-**_

"Shikamaru!" The rapping of knuckles against my door brought me back to reality. I sighed, zipping the duffel bag shut and making my way to the door. I opened the door and Kiba burst in, throwing himself to my bed.  
>"What?" I asked. Kiba frowned.<p>

"Don't be so grumpy. Look, it's snowing outside!" Kiba pointed a finger at the window, and sure enough, the window was coated with thick frost and I could barely see the snowflakes dancing down softly.

Maybe that's why I remembered that day.

"-that we're leaving soon."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Asuma sent me here to tell you that we're leaving soon. Geez, Shikamaru, get with the program!"

"Sorry," I grumbled, rolling my eyes as I grabbed my green jacket. When I turned around, Kiba was right at my face.  
>"Were you thinking of your girlfriend, Saiki?" I glared at him and pushed him away, feeling a small blush on my cheeks. Everyone noticed my kindness to Saiki and teased me about it.<p>

Saiki, of course, was absolutely oblivious to this.

It was annoying, though, especially coming from such a loud mouth like Kiba.

"Shut up and let's go."

"Ooh, feisty, Shikamaru." Kiba wiggled his eyebrows. "Is that how Saiki likes it?"

"You're such a pain in the ass," I grumbled, pushing my duffel bag in his arms. He laughed and threw it back at me.

"Just kidding, just kidding! But seriously though, we're going to a resort! You should totally make your move."

I rolled my eyes as we stepped out of my room and made our way outside. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Stop lying!" Kiba laughed, opening the front door for me. A gust of cold air hit us as we walked out into the snow. December was such a troublesome month. "We all know you like her, and she obviously likes you back! She's a little dense in the head, though, isn't she?" I glared at him.

"She's not dense in the head," I snapped at him. Akamaru barked at me, not appreciating my tone of voice. Kiba raised an eyebrow, trying to look surprised, but that smirk on his lips still remained. He raised his hands up.

"Fine, fine~ I'm just saying. You should make your move before Naruto does."

Naruto was as friendly as I was to Saiki, except Naruto's flirtatious attitude took over most of the time. Naruto's flirting didn't matter to me, but deep inside, it kind of annoyed me.

Kiba was right, I realized, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. I kicked his legs, causing him to stumble forward a few steps. Kiba's outburst of laughter made me chuckle lowly as we neared the gate.

I could make out a few people. Neji and Rock Lee were arguing, TenTen being the referee, Sakura was off to the side, discussing with Hinata and Ino, and Saiki let out a big laugh. Next to her, Naruto was laughing, proud of some joke he must have said.

"What'd I tell you?" Kiba said, but this time, he wasn't trying to tease me. Something set off in my head and I walked over to her, smiling lazily.

"Hey, Saiki," I greeted. Saiki wiped her eyes lightly and looked up at me with a smile.

"Oh, hey, Shikamaru. Naruto just told me this really funny joke-"

"It wasn't that funny," Naruto said, obviously proud of himself.

"It was so funny!" Saiki laughed again, running a hand through Naruto's hair and messing it up furiously. Naruto did the same to her and they started having a war amongst themselves. I looked away, off into the forest, their flirting annoying me.

"When do we leave?"

"Huh?"

"When do we leave?" Saiki repeated, waving a hand in my face. "You okay?"

"Fine," I responded in a grumble. "We leave when our teachers get here." Saiki nodded, looking around.

"I can't find Daisuke or Kabu."

"Who're they?" She looked up at me, an eyebrow raised.

"You know, my squad members...?"

"Right," I said, remembering the dark haired and amber haired boys clearly. Which one was which was beyond me.

"I'm here!" a feminine voice shouted. It was none other than Celty. Her long black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the ponytail reaching to her mid-back. Her eyes were giant and the color of a friendly green. She was geared up with the usual green jacket, bearing torn up jeans with fishnets under. Now I kind of knew were Saiki got her sense of fashion.

I look over at her. Her hair was choppy and dark, stopping at her shoulders. Her bangs bothered her brown eyes; she often blew at her hair or flipped it to the side. She was wearing a black shirt that stopped above her belly button, and under that she was wearing a fishnet long-sleeved shirt. Her shorts were torn up, and she was wearing fishnet leggings too. Maybe she was wearing a fishnet body shirt. I really wouldn't doubt it.

"Celty-sensei!" Saiki shouted out, waving her hand furiously. Celty walked over to her student, patting her still messy hair.

"Hey, Saiki. Who's this young man?" Celty asked, examining me.

"Shikamaru. Shika, this is Celty."

"Shika? Aw, how cute," Celty teased, pinching my cheek. I shooed her hand away, annoyed. Celty smirked, turning around to face everyone.

"Okay guys, let's go!"

**_-...-_**

"_Shika!"_

"_Do _not _call me 'Shika.' That's not my name."_

"_Aw, come on, don't be so grumpy!"_

"_Whatever. What do you want."_

"_Oh, um... I was just thinking, that, you know, you could show me around, and then I'll repay you."_

"_Repay?"_

"_Yeah! I'll, um, take you to that ramen place. Deal?"_

"_...Okay, fine."_

_"Yay! Let's go, Shika~"_

_**-...-**  
><em>

The resort was large, yet a bit empty. The resort had the appearance of a large log cabin, warm and cozy, surrounded by white fluffy snow and pine trees everywhere. Smoke escalated from a chimney, disappearing into the sky covered in gray clouds. Everyone around me sighed in contentment of finally being here. Saiki squealed in delight next to me, shaking with cold shivers.

"Finally! It looks like its warm inside, huh?" Saiki asked me, her voice coming out in a solid white puff. Her nose was a rosy red, along with her cheeks, and her voice was a little scratchy. She winced, rubbing her neck with cold, stiff fingers. "I'm really cold."

"It'll be warm inside. We'll be inside once the teachers finish sorting something out," I responded, peering ahead at the group of teachers talking to an angry looking manager. The teachers were equally angry, meaning we'd be outside for some time.

"D-Darn," she hissed, teeth chattering. "I'm s-so c-cold." She began to rub her hands frantically. I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe if you would have been smart and brought gloves like I did." Saiki glared up at me, but her face softened as I grabbed her hands in mine. I could feel the cold seeping through the fabric of the gloves as I grabbed her hands, tiny enough to fit in my own hands perfectly.

"T-Thanks," she muttered.

"You should have worn more clothes, too. All you're wearing is half a shirt and a jacket."

"Stop scolding me!" she shouted, although she knew I was joking and smiled. "I have pants."

"Shorts. Ripped shorts," I smirked, looking down at her shaking knees. "If you knew it'd be cold outside, you should have worn more clothes."

"I'm sorry, I'm stupid. There, happy?"

"Of course." Saiki sent me another glare. I let go of her hands, Saiki letting out a groan of displeasure, and I began to take off my jacket. I handed her the jacket and she looked up at me gratefully.

"Thanks!" she exclaimed. She pulled on the over-sized, green jacket, the jacket draping down just below her knees.

She looked so small and cute with it on.

"I think we can go back inside," Saiki said, bringing me back into reality. I nodded and pulled her forward with me as we tried to trudge through the snow and into the cabin before everyone else.

Everyone piled into the lobby, taking over the couches and the area around the fire place. It looked ridiculous, really, seeing a bunch of teenagers trying to take over the space around the warmest area of the lobby. Saiki and I stayed away from the clutter, Saiki huddled up against me while rubbing her hands together.

"Listen up!" Celty's voice rang out, quieting the rest of the group. She pointed a finger at a hallway to the left. "Girls, your rooms are this way." She pointed at a hallway to the right. "Guys, your rooms are this way. Try not to make a mess of this place! Dismissed." At that, everyone stood up and made their way to find a room for themselves.

"What're you doing after you find a dorm?" Saiki asked me. I looked over at her and shrugged. "Well, see you later." With that, she walked away, holding her hands close to her face and disappearing into the swarm of girls. I sighed and made my way to the rooms, hoping I'd get paired up with someone who would let me sleep.

"Come on, _Shika!" _Kiba shouted, saying my name in a girl voice. I looked up from my pillow and glared at him. "Let's go skiing!"

"I don't want to go skiing," I snapped, letting my head fall against the soft pillow. Sweet, soft pillow. Soft enough, perfect, to sleep on...

"Come on, party pooper! Why do you have to be so lame?" Kiba whined.

"I'll go with you," Neji offered.

"Fine," Kiba muttered. "I'm just gonna go impress the ladies with my moves," Kiba said, giving a cocky smile. "Maybe I'll see Saiki out there."

"Fine," I finally said, annoyed with my lack of sleep. I knew if I stayed here, I wouldn't get any sleep now, and even less later. I stood up, reaching for my jacket. "Damn."

"What?" Neji asked.

"Saiki has my jacket." Kiba gave a small hoot. Rolling my eyes at him, I grabbed the nearest long-sleeved shirt I had and pulled it on. "Let's go."

**_-Saiki-_**

The snow crunching under my feet somehow slid into my boots, a hot-cold sting hitting my ankle. I kept walking, watching Naruto and Kiba throw snowballs at each other, Sakura and Ino doing the same, and Hinata and TenTen simply sitting down, drinking a hot drink that made swirls of hot smoke in the air.

I still couldn't find Shikamaru. I needed to give him his jacket back. It was warm and comfortable, and I could just curl up and take a nice nap in this, but it wasn't mine. It was sweet of him to let me borrow his jacket, though.

Shikamaru had always been the nicest person I met in Konoha. I remember he was the one who showed me around, and helped me meet new people.

I had been looking for him around the village, getting lost and winding up in the forest while searching for him as well. I had found him lying under a tree, staring up at the clouds.

"Shika!" I shouted, waving madly as he picked his head up to see me. He sat up, a frown on his face.

"Do _not_ call me 'Shika.' That's not my name," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes lazily.

"Aw, come on, don't be so grumpy!"

"Whatever. What do you want?" he asked, yawning. I thought, maybe I was disrupting him, but then again, he was always staring up at the clouds. That kid needed something to do.

I had something for him to do. We were both in luck.

"Oh, um...," I began, playing with the tips of my choppy hair. I felt a small blush of embarrassment stinging at my cheeks, but I kept my voice leveled as I continued. "I was just thinking that, you know, you could show me around, and then I'll repay you."

"Repay?"

"Yeah!" I said cheerfully. "I'll, um, take you to that ramen place. Deal?" My stomach swelled with anticipation, and the fear of being rejected. But, as I watched Shikamaru get up, I knew what his answer was.

"Okay, fine."

"Yay!" I cheered, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward. "Let's go, Shika~"

_**-...-**_

I smiled at myself. That day, I had met everyone I know today, thanks to Shikamaru. I had discovered the perfect place to train and get away, and found out what the best ramen in the world tasted like.

That day, I finally felt like I fit in Konoha. All thanks to Shika.

I felt like I owed a lot to him, and that thought swam through my head as I walked in search for him. Finally giving up on searching for him outside, I went inside the lobby. I pulled open the door, the warm air instantly rushing to me and pushing away the cold that clung onto me. I quickly made my way inside, sighing at the warmth of the room.

"Cold outside?" I familiar voice asked. Shikamaru smirked at me as I smiled, happy to have finally found it.

"Hey! I wanted to give you this back," I said, holding out the green jacket to him. Shikamaru eyed it, before reaching forward and clutching it with a firm hand.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" Kiba shouted, rushing towards us. "I wanted to... Oh, never mind. Don't want to disrupt your alone time," Kiba said with a sly smile, winking at me and causing me to blush.

"We're..." I began, but didn't know what to say. The blush on my face overwhelmed me with embarrassment. I resorted to looking down at my feet nervously.

"Kiba..." Shikamaru began, saying his name with warning. It was like saying, "Go away," but subtly yet still as strong. It actually kind of scared me. Amused me, even.

"Go on, you two! Kiss!" Kiba teased. I could hear the giggles of a few more people. _More people? _

All of a sudden, Shikamaru crashed against me, and we were both against the floor, his arms pinning me against the ground, the weight of his legs against my own. More laughter erupted, followed by a few hoots.

_This is so embarrassing!_

I watched Shikamaru's face. His eyes refused to meet mine, his cheeks were flushed red, and his jaw line was tensed. Anger.

His hands that rested on either side of me clenched into fists as he stood up. I could see a vein pulsing at his neck.

He was seriously mad! I couldn't imagine a person like Shikamaru mad. He seemed too... at ease to let anything bother him.

Was I bothering him?

"Kiba, seriously, shut up! You're annoying me to death! Quit assuming that I like Saiki! I don't like Saiki, never have, never will, now quit bothering me about it!"

The whole room was silent. Everyone's eyes were either looking at me, or Shikamaru. Kiba's eyes stayed focused on Shikamaru, mouth slightly ajar. Shikamaru's voice was echoing in my head, shouting. Tears stung at my eyes. I shouldn't take it personal. I shouldn't take it personal. I repeated that phrase in my head, but I couldn't believe it.

Shikamaru hates me?

At the thought of that, the tears stinging at my eyes finally spilled out. I scrambled to my feet, all the pairs of eyes on me now. I couldn't meet anyone's eyes, but I forced myself to look up at Shikamaru's eyes.

"Saiki..." he began. I knew he wanted to apologize. I knew from the look on his face. His face softened up, a frown on his face, a worried frown, showing that he wasn't angry anymore. Regret swam in his eyes. "I..."

"Forget it," I mumbled, my voice croaking. With knees feeling weak like jelly, I walked towards my room, pushing people out of the way. When I finally came to my own door, I walked past it, until I made my way outside. My bare arms tensed with cold as the air pushed against me. The snow crawled into my shoes, another stinging cold going across me. It didn't matter. I was sad, with a mixture of mad, and all I could do was walk forward, until I could get somewhere where no one could see me cry. My legs picked up speed, until I was running against the wind, into the snowy forest, where no one could find me.

_Shikamaru hates me._

_**-Shikamaru-**_

I couldn't face her. I knew if I tried to confront her, I wouldn't be able to face the sad look on her face. Everything that I said back there was babbled out of anger. Kiba had gotten on my last straw, and because of that, and my own senseless words, I hurt the person I care about.

For ten minutes, I laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts swam in my head. Why did I say that? Why couldn't I go talk to her?

Why couldn't I just tell her?

"Shikamaru!" Kiba's voice made something in my head snap. Anger flooded through me. I blamed Kiba for the things that I said, even though deep down I shouldn't be blaming anyone but myself.

"What do you want?" I snapped, pushing a pillow against my face. The knob on the door twisted multiple times. Locked.

"It's Saiki. She's gone! Everyone searched for her, but no one could find her!" I stayed silent.

Saiki ran away?

Finally, I admitted it to myself. This was all my fault.

I stood up from my bed, grabbing my green jacket and opening the door. Kiba quickly stepped back as I rushed past him, rushed past everyone else, and made my way to Saiki's dorm. The door knob opened swiftly, but when I pushed it open, no one was there. I cursed under my breath and rushed outside, stomping through the snow, in search for Saiki.

Fifteen minutes, and my lips felt like they were frozen to each other. The tips of my fingers were numb and I couldn't feel my feet as I trudged through the snow. My breathing was quick and came out as white smoke puffs, lingering before disappearing in the air.

Right now, I just wanted to go home. The road ahead of me was dark. It wasn't black ahead, but clear white, and still, it felt dark to me. I don't know where I was heading, but I knew I needed to find Saiki. The look on her face when she stood up plastered to the back of my eyelids. The tears in her shocked eyes, the bottom of her lip quivering. I felt like I was made of stone; cold and lifeless. I suddenly felt tired, and wished nothing that had occurred to me right now was real.

I had hurt the one that I loved. I was mean to a girl who probably loved me unconditionally.

Sighing once more, I trudged through the snow, catching sight of something nearby.

**_-Saiki-_**

I was freezing. I couldn't feel any part of my body properly. Everything was frozen and numb. My cheeks were covered in frozen tears, as I was done crying my eyes out. Now, I just stared at the icy white floor, my back against the bark of a dying tree. I dug my feet against the cold, unable to feel the sting anymore. Was I going to die from the cold? Was that what was going on?

I didn't care anymore. I was absolutely miserable. I might have been overreacting, but honestly, I was too sad to care. I really liked Shikamaru. To know that he hates me just breaks me apart.

I blinked, my eyelids staying closed for a while. I felt like I was drifting, in a sea of ice cold water swooshing me away ever so slowly...

I jolted upright, gasping against the freezing wind and blinking multiple times, trying to wake myself up. The cold was making me fall asleep, but I couldn't fall asleep here. I didn't want to go back, either, and I had no idea where I was anyways. The run over here was all a blur to me.

"Cold?" a voice asked. I looked up and saw Shikamaru smiling down at me, the jacket from before in his hands. I stared up at him, feeling a pang of sadness, and stared down at my feet, looking away from him. I didn't want his pity.

"Leave me alone," I said, my voice croaking lowly. I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes.

"Saiki...," Shikamaru began, kneeling down next to me. He stared at me while I stared straight forward. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, okay? I was angry. I didn't mean any of that."

"Liar," I croaked again, cold hands wiping away tears. "You just want me to forgive you."

"No, I mean it. I really didn't mean anything I said back there."

"You hate me," I mumbled, catching a glimpse of his eyes. They looked hurt and worried, and for a second there, I felt like an idiot. I should just forgive him.

But I wasn't completely convinced.

"I don't hate you," Shikamaru muttered.

"Liar," I repeated. "Liar, liar, liar."

"Saiki...," Shikamaru said, sounding hurt. I shut my eyes, shutting him out. I didn't want him to be here anymore. He was just making me feel worse.

Suddenly, I felt a warm hand on my chin, and before I could do anything else, a warm pair of lips was over my own cold ones.

"I love you," Shikamaru said, his warm breath hitting my lips before he pressed his lips over mine again, kissing me gently.

"Okay," I mumbled, smiling up at him, despite the tears in my eyes. "I believe you."


End file.
